Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Yesterday Durning The DNC Convention

I hadn't made a mandala for years! I create my own designs. Colored with gel pens---so it takes a long time. : )

I finally got bored with playing solitaire on my laptop, which is what I usually do when watching the news.

I'm watching both conventions with great interest and stress!
I hope and pray the Bernie supporters (which I am one), will come around and do the right thing and vote for Hillary to block Dangerous Drumpf.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

This Was The First Time I Quit Drinking Since These Three or Four Things Came Into My Life

I'm doing so well as Sobrietist and I think, for me (and thousands of others for that matter), it's because this is the first time I quit drinking since:

Structured Water
Matt Kahn
Anah Maa

came into my life.

The 30-Day Sobriety Solution
catapulted me back into sobriety in the first place.

 (Links for all in right margin)

And if not for the first three, sobriety wouldn't be this easy, neither would getting off alcohol in the first place---even though, admittedly, my drinking problem wasn't half as bad as most.

Yes, I sell Structured Water Devices so of course I happily and proudly promote them, but I sell them because I know all living things NEED structured water.

I'm posting this though, for the sole reason of telling my own story---sharing more about myself---telling my truth. Hopefully it will inspire others.

We're all so different in creating what works for us, but if not for hearing and experiencing things that others present to us, I'd never be where I am today.

Since May 15th I've absolutely cultivated a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about drinking, I prefer to leave it, and it's rather effortless to do so.

I'm so INCREDIBLY happy and grateful!!!

"And YOU Can Too!"  

Friday, July 22, 2016

I Think I Like My Life The Way It Is

I'd been struggling for weeks it seems to write something profound or interesting or useful or inspiring. But I had nothing, and that sort of bummed me out. I could be doing more with my life. I should be doing more with my life. I should take myself seriously as a writer. I should try to write something real other than a blog, like a book. I should try to write and publish things for money. That's a hell of a lot of shoulds. I should have a better life. I should do more with my life. I should be contributing to the family income. I should live my dreams. I should be doing what I want in life. I should create a better life for myself. 

Then it dawned on me today: I've got a pretty damn good life. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. And maybe I don't want to work that hard, meaning, I don't want to work as hard as it would require to be a writer of published works, like several of my friends are doing. Maybe I don't want that. Maybe I don't care if I ever publish a book. Maybe that lifelong dream wasn't actually what I really aspired to.

Maybe I simply aspired to be exactly what I am. A good mother and a domestic goddess. Maybe having ME/CFS is a gift because I can't work. I don't want to be sick, I want to be healthy. But even if I became healed I'd probably want to continue living mostly as I'm living. The worst part of it is boredom, loneliness, and frustration, but they are all short-lived. Oh, and the horrid symptoms, which are not short-lived. I love my life, and I'm extremely blessed to have it.

I'm glad and grateful any time I can help another or inspire another. This goes for every part of my life. Even making eye contact and smiling at people wherever I go. And I aspire to be a kinder person, because, as the wise song says, "In the end, only kindness matters." ~ Jewel

For some reason while I was watching HBOs "The Night Of" I was suddenly compelled to pause it and write this.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Hi !

Er, I have no notion of why I lost interest in blogging the past 2+ weeks!
I guess I just haven't had anything to say!
Actually, maybe I have too much to say and can't possibly keep up!
So much going on in the world.
We may need a miracle or a hundred.

I did injure my back a couple weeks ago. That could be why I went silent.

And now, almost all better, I intend to strengthen my body to the best of my ability. There's a gym that's only 10 bucks a month.

I've lost weight, finally. Keeping a food diary seems to be all it takes for me, and I love doing it. I hope my body allows me to lose some more. It's not easy with my particular health challenges.

Sorry to bore you!

May All Be Blessed

Friday, July 1, 2016

Now They're Just Somebodies That I Used To Know

I'm speaking about, of course, my FOO, my family of origin, whom I finally successfully orphaned myself from after all these decades.

As I say those words to myself I notice that I feel a sense of peace, joy, and almost elation. Does this mean I truly am on the right path?! Does this mean I truly am Free At Last? (I wrote a play in high school with that title.)(No, I no longer have it, just as I no longer have anything from my youth except for my giant Raggedy Ann and a very few assorted pictures, and a tin of buttons that my mother and my grandmother used to collect. My mother was not much interested in saving things of mine--therefore neither was I--nor in sharing pictures with me.)

Truly, 2016 is the year of liberation for me. I'm free from FOO and I'm free from alcohol.
Not just FOO but FOO+, all my relatives too. It had to be that way. It's all in my memoir-in-progress.

I've attempted to estrange myself from them many times over the many years, in fact, I did estrange myself from them many times, but this is the last time. I can feel the difference. I have learned all I need to learn from them, and I have learned that trying to bring truth and healing is FUTILE.

What I noticed this morning when another unwanted email trickled into my old Cox email account from FOO+ about their upcoming annual family reunion, was no strong reaction inside myself at all. I felt emptiness (that's good!!), and I blocked the email address. Cox is not very user friendly for emails and my mind was never even able to grasp that I could block people in there until this summer.

The first totally unexpected emails (I thought they were going to leave us alone now since they finally stopped calling, texting, sending stuff, and emailing my Gmail account) from them that came in triggered me to drink recently, but that part turned out to be a gift that I blogged about, because it showed me that booze no longer has any power over me, that I don't have to fear it, and that the thrill of drinking was gone! I haven't looked back since! I quit drinking on May 15th, and the two drinking choices I made since then were part of my journey; were a needed process to secure my sobriety.

It's a good feeling no longer having any internal blocks about blocking anyone in my FOO+. It's an empowering feeling learning that not only am I surviving being an orphan-by-choice, but I'm thriving. And I think it's only going to get better and better for me!

I'm a late bloomer who is stepping into her own.

<insert picture of my vivacious self here! Victory arms in the air! I don't have one like that but I will!>

I wish them all only peace and love.