I'm learning that women will understand this more than men because we are different when it comes to drinking and sobriety....
More than this, on another topic completely, I've been feeling like I don't know who I am. And that could be a spiritual thing. It's eery and I'll talk about it later. Maybe.
The anxiety over not drinking and over the thought that I can't is freaking me out the past few days.
And I'm feeling lightheaded and weird.
And if I had my old frienemy alcohol I could self medicate and feel better for a while.
And I'm writing my way through it right now (Wednesday afternoon).
I also have my loving family and boyfriend helping me through it. Hearing their complete confidence in my need for teetotalism reassures me that they are right. It helps me not to listen to the energy that questions or doubts that.
By the way, cannabis microdosing is great but it can't fix me every time, I'm learning. Sometimes it doesn't hit the spot and spare me from these kinds of feelings.
But apparently women have more anxiety over sobriety than men do, for many reasons.
So. Where do I go from here?
I don't know. I only know that I'm not going to drink.